Afterthis,IbegantohaveaspanerregardfortheabilityofdoctorsthanIeverhadbefore,andagreateroneformyself.Ifeltsurenowthatnodoctorcouldtellwhetherpeoplewereinsaneornot,solongasthecasewasnotviolent.Laterintheafternoonaboyandawomancame.Thewomansatdownonabench,whiletheboywentinandtalkedwithMissScott.Inashorttimehecameout,and,justnoddinggood-byetothewoman,whowashismother,wentaway.Shedidnotlookinsane,butasshewasGermanIcouldnotlearnherstory.Hername,however,wasMrs.LouiseSchanz.Sheseemedquitelost,butwhenthenursesputheratsomesewingshedidherworkwellandquickly.Atthreeintheafternoonallthepatientsweregivenagruelbroth,andatfiveacupofteaandapieceofbread.Iwasfavored;forwhentheysawthatitwasimpossibleformetoeatthebreadordrinkthestuffhonoredbythenameoftea,theygavemeacupofmilkandacracker,thesameasIhadhadatnoon.Justasthegaswasbeinglightedanotherpatientwasadded.Shewasayounggirl,twenty-fiveyearsold.Shetoldmethatshehadjustgottenupfromasickbed.Herappearanceconfirmedherstory.Shelookedlikeonewhohadhadasevereattackoffever.“Iamnowsufferingfromnervousdebility,”shesaid,“andmyfriendshavesentmeheretobetreatedforit.”Ididnottellherwhereshewas,andsheseemedquitesatisfied.At6.15MissBallsaidthatshewantedtogoaway,andsowewouldallhavetogotobed.Theneachofus-wenownumberedsix-wereassignedaroomandtoldtoundress.Ididso,andwasgivenashort,cotton-flannelgowntowearduringthenight.ThenshetookeveryparticleoftheclothingIhadwornduringtheday,and,makingitupinabundle,labeledit“Brown,”andtookitaway.Theiron-barredwindowwaslocked,andMissBall,aftergivingmeanextrablanket,which,shesaid,wasafavorrarelygranted,wentoutandleftmealone.Thebedwasnotacomfortableone.Itwassohard,indeed,thatIcouldnotmakeadentinit;andthepillowwasstuffedwithstraw.Underthesheetwasanoilclothspread.AsthenightgrewcolderItriedtowarmthatoilcloth.Ikeptontrying,butwhenmorningdawnedanditwasstillascoldaswhenIwenttobed,andhadreducedmetoo,tothetemperatureofaniceberg, task.Ihadhopedtogetsomerestonthismyfirstnightinaninsaneasylum.ButIwasdoomedtodisappointment.WhenthenightnursescameintheywerecurioustoseemeandtofindoutwhatIwaslike.NosoonerhadtheyleftthanIheardsomeoneatmydoorinquiringforNellieBrown,andIbegantotremble,fearingalwaysthatmysanitywouldbediscovered.BylisteningtotheconversationIfounditwasareporterinsearchofme,andIheardhimaskformyclothingsothathemightexamineit.Ilistenedquiteanxiouslytothetalkaboutme,andwasrelievedtolearnthatIwasconsideredhopelesslyinsane.Thatwasencouraging.AfterthereporterleftIheardnewarrivals,andIlearnedthatadoctorwasthereandintendedtoseeme.ForwhatpurposeIknewnot,andIimaginedallsortsofhorriblethings,suchasexaminationsandtherestofit,andwhentheygottomyroomIwasshakingwithmorethanfear.“NellieBrown,hereisthedoctor;hewishestospeakwithyou,”saidthenurse.Ifthat’sallhewantedIthoughtIcouldendureit.IremovedtheblanketwhichIhadputovermyheadinmysuddenfrightandlookedup.Thesightwasreassuring.
