Wedonotgetwhatwewantmost.PeachandLi,althoughwiththespring,butnevercaneliminatetheestrangement,manytimesweonlyretreatforthesecondshippingfromhongkong,or,topersuadethemselvestogiveuptheoriginalintention,anotherdirection.Peoplealwayshavesuchareasontodissatisfactionwithlife,unwilling,resentment,andevenhate.Andthefrictionoflife,mostlyflatthings,liketheroadofthecountry,onefootcanplayhighcountlesssmallchildren,howmany,aslongasyouarewalkingontheroad,youcanmeetTo.Perhapsthereallifeissochinainternationalshipping.Things,justfloatingonthewaterofastemreedleaves,slowlydriftoveranddriftinthepast,sometimesdriftfaraway,theydonotrememberitsstartingpointanddestinationshouldbeinwhatplace.Andfriendsshopping,seeapairofshoes,lonelyplacedinthediscountarea,donotremembertheshellfishorGAGAthrough,inshort,isveryamazingthatkindofstyle.Icouldnothelpbuttry,anddidnotimaginethatdifficult,actuallystandverytight,backandforthafewsteps,isnotgenerallydomineering.Askedtheprice,becauseonlyapair,butalsotothemodelbeforethesample,andnowhit2fold,thecalculationisstillexpensive,butalreadyenoughconcessions.Friendswillencourage,buyittobuyit,howrare!Ireallylikeit,myheartisalsoasmallimpulse,butfinallygaveup.Inthefinalanalysiscargofromchina,Ireallydonotneedtowearittoattendtheoccasion.Iusedtolistentoacolleaguesaid,sometimesstandinginthemallinfrontofthoseclothesinadaze,norcannotaffordorcannotbear,butevenifawkwardtobuy,putonanddowhat?Worktimewillonlydropashouldercrushgray,backhomeaftercooking,chisel,needsograndit?Perhapsonlythebiggirlinthemoviecanbetransformedintoaphoenixbyagentleman,wecanonlyimproveasmuchaspossibleinlife,andmorecanonlymakeitasitis.WhyshouldIsufferfrommyself?Whenthechildmoved,cryingclamortotakeawaytheyardofthelargestgardeniatree,theresultsfinallyverifythe"treemovedtodeath,peoplemovelive"truth.Thatthewhitehairofthericharomaofflowersfinallydisappeared,becauseIdonotwantit?Howlongdidittaketoknowthatforthosedeep-rootedinsistencehecouldonlypourwateronit?Thetruemeaningofhappinessisnothardtopursue,butsometimestocontinuetocompromise,orevenbackward.WhenIwasachild,IthoughtIwouldbetheprincessinthecastle,thewindowandsoonaretheprince,andIalsocannotsee;laterthoughtIwillhaveatreebehindtheendofthehouse,butalsowaterFlowerdepthdonotopenthedoor,thebreezerippling.Andnow,inthecitycanhaveaplacetosettledown,donotneedtopayrentandevenmortgage,ifnotattachedtomydirtystylebackawayandwillingtocleanuptheroomformyman,isalreadygrace,enoughtobeoverjoyed.Mypeacetalkswithlifeseemtohaveneverstopped,outputyouth,freedomandpen,inexchangeforthenextday.ItseemsthatGeorgeBernardShawsaidaword,lifecannothavebeenliking,ifreallycan,thatismoreterriblethings.Desireislong,becauseitisnotavailable.Getitwillturnablindeye,becomeacrackontheceiling,everydayinthelineofsight,butyouneverfinditthere.Happinessishappy,itisbecauseitisunpredictablebychance,andotherlongandpainfultimetoformthemostvividcontrast.Torunforward,trynottolookback.Thisistheresultofmybargainingwithlife.Willstillmisssomewarmwords,instantaneousstrangeeyes,hesitantexpression,aback,alongtimeagotoseetherainbow,butwewillnotmissthecracksintheceiling,oreverydayinthepeoplearound.Sometimestheheartwillbeturbulent,Idonotknowwheretheywilleventuallygo;somewoundsarestillpainful,butperhapsthisscarisusedtoremindheraftertheendofaperiodoftime.Lifeisnotalwayscolorful,butonlyinthecornerofthewallofthewallhiddeninasmallflower,aloneinterpretationofthehumblewonderful.
