Inallthatconcernseatinganddrinking,company,climate,andwaysoflife,communityoftasteistobesoughtfor.Itwouldbetrying,forinstance,tokeepbedandboardwithanearlyriseroravegetarian.Inmattersofartandintellect,Ibelieveitisofnoconsequence.Certainlyitisofnoneinthecompanionshipsofmen,whowilldinemorereadilywithonewhohasagoodheart,agoodcellar,andahumoroustongue,thanwithanotherwhosharesalltheirfavouritehobbiesandismelancholywithal.IfyourwifelikesTupper,thatisnoreasonwhyyoushouldhangyourhead.Shethinkswiththemajority,andhasthecourageofheropinions.Ihavealwayssuspectedpublictastetobeamongrelproduct,outofaffectationbydogmatism;andfeltsure,ifyoucouldonlyfindanhonestmanofnospecialliterarybent,hewouldtellyouhethoughtmuchofShakespearebombasticandmostabsurd,andallofhimwritteninveryobscureEnglishandwearisometoread.AndnotlongagoIwasabletolaybymylanternincontent,forIfoundthehonestman.Hewasafellowofparts,quick,humorous,acleverpainter,andwithaneyeforcertainpoeticaleffectsofseaandships.Iamnotmuchofajudgeofthatkindofthing,butasketchofhiscomesbeforemesometimesatnight.Howstrong,supple,andlivingtheshipseemsuponthebillows!Withwhatadipandrakesheshearstheflyingsea!Icannotfancythemanwhosawthiseffect,andtookitonthewingwithsomuchforceandspirit,waswhatyoucallcommonplaceinthelastrecessesoftheheart.Andyethethought,andwasnotashamedtohaveitknownofhim,thatOuidawasbetterineverywaythanWilliamShakespeare.Ifthereweremorepeopleofhishonesty,thiswouldbeaboutthestapleoflaycriticism.Itisnottastethatisplentiful,butcouragethatisrare.Andwhathaveweinplace?Howmany,whothinknootherwisethantheyoungpainter,havewenothearddisbursingsecond-handhyperboles?Haveyouneverturnedsickatheart,Obestofcritics!whensomeofyourownsweetadjectiveswerereturnedonyoubeforeagapingaudience?Enthusiasmaboutartisbecomeafunctionoftheaveragefemalebeing,whichsheperformswithprecisionandasortofhauntingsprightliness,likeaningeniousandwell-regulatedmachine.Sometimes,alas!thecalmestmaniscarriedawayinthetorrent,bandiesadjectiveswiththebest,andout-HerodsHerodforsomeshamefulmoments.Whenyourememberthat,youwillbetemptedtoputthingsstrongly,andsayyouwillmarrynoonewhoisnotlikeGeorgetheSecond,andcannotstateopenlyadistasteforpoetryandpainting.Theword“facts”is,insomeways,crucial.IhavespokenwithJesuitsandPlymouthBrethren,mathematiciansandpoets,dogmaticrepublicansanddearoldgentlemeninbird’s-eyeneckcloths;andeachunderstoodtheword“facts”inanoccultsenseofhisown.TryasImight,Icouldgetnonearertheprincipleoftheirdivision.Whatwasessentialtothem,seemedtometrivialoruntrue.Wecouldcometonocompromiseastowhatwas,orwhatwasnot,importantinthelifeofman.Turnaswepleased,weallstoodbacktobackinabigring,andsawanotherquarteroftheheavens,withdifferentmountain-topsalongthesky-lineanddifferentconstellationsoverhead.Wehadeachofussomewhimsyinthebrain,whichwebelievedmorethananythingelse,andwhichdiscolouredallexperiencetoitsownshade.Howwouldyouhavepeopleagree,whenoneisdeafandtheotherblind?Nowthisiswherethereshouldbecommunitybetweenmanandwife.Theyshouldbeagreedontheircatchwordin“factsofreligion,”or“factsofscience,”or“society,mydear”;forwithoutsuchanagreementallintercourseisapainfulstrainuponthemind.“AboutasmuchreligionasmyWilliamlikes,”inshort,thatiswhatisnecessarytomakeahappycoupleofanyWilliamandhisspouse.Fortherearedifferenceswhichnohabitnoraffectioncanreconcile,andtheBohemianmustnotintermarrywiththePharisee.ImagineConsueloasMrs.SamuelBudget,thewifeofthesuccessfulmerchant!Thebestofmenandthebestofwomenmaysometimeslivetogetheralltheirlives,and,forwantofsomeconsentonfundamentalquestions,holdeachotherlostspiritstotheend.Acertainsortoftalentisalmostindispensableforpeoplewhowouldspendyearstogetherandnotborethemselvestodeath.Butthetalent,liketheagreement,mustbeforandaboutlife.Todwellhappilytogether,theyshouldbeversedinthenicetiesoftheheart,andbornwithafacultyforwillingcompromise.Thewomanmustbetalentedasawoman,anditwillnotmuchmatteralthoughsheistalentedinnothingelse.Shemustknowhermetierdefemme,andhaveafinetouchfortheaffections.Anditismoreimportantthatapersonshouldbeagoodgossip,andtalkpleasantlyandsmartlyofcommonfriendsandthethousandandonenothingsofthedayandhour,thanthatsheshouldspeakwiththetonguesofmenandangels;forawhiletogetherbythefire,happensmorefrequentlyinmarriagethanthepresenceofadistinguishedforeignertodinner.Thatpeopleshouldlaughoverthesamesortofjests,andhavemanyastoryof“grouseinthegun-room,”manyanoldjokebetweenthemwhichtimecannotwithernorcustomstale,isabetterpreparationforlife,byyourleave,thanmanyotherthingshigherandbettersoundingintheworld’sears.YoucouldreadKantbyyourself,ifyouwanted;butyoumustshareajokewithsomeoneelse.Youcanforgivepeoplewhodonotfollowyouthroughaphilosophicaldisquisition;buttofindyourwifelaughingwhenyouhadtearsinyoureyes,orstaringwhenyouwereinafitoflaughter,wouldgosomewaytowardsadissolutionofthemarriage.Iknowawomanwho,fromsomedistasteordisability,couldneversomuchasunderstandthemeaningofthewordpolitics,andhasgivenuptryingtodistinguishWhigsfromTories;buttakeheronherownpolitics,askheraboutothermenorwomenandthechicaneryofeverydayexistence—therubs,thetricks,thevanitiesonwhichlifeturns—andyouwillnotfindmanymoreshrewd,trenchant,andhumorous.Nay,tomakeplainerwhatIhaveinmind,thissamewomanhasashareofthehigherandmorepoeticalunderstanding,frankinterestinthingsfortheirownsake,andenduringastonishmentatthemostcommon.Sheisnottobedeceivedbycustom,ormadetothinkamysterysolvedwhenitisrepeated.Ihaveheardhersayshecouldwonderherselfcrazyoverthehumaneyebrow.Nowinaworldwheremostofuswalkverycontentedlyinthelittlelitcircleoftheirownreason,andhavetoberemindedofwhatlieswithoutbyspeciousandclamantexceptions—earthquakes,eruptionsofVesuvius,banjosfloatinginmid-airataseance,andthelike—amindsofreshandunsophisticatedisnodespicablegift.IwillownIthinkitabettersortofmindthangoesnecessarilywiththeclearestviewsonpublicbusiness.Itwillwash.Itwillfindsomethingtosayatanoddmoment.Ithasinitthespringofpleasantandquaintfancies.WhereasIcanimaginemyselfyawningallnightlonguntilmyjawsachedandthetearscameintomyeyes,althoughmycompanionontheothersideofthehearthheldthemostenlightenedopinionsonthefranchiseortheballot.Thequestionofprofessions,inasfarastheyregardmarriage,wasonlyinterestingtowomenuntiloflatedays,butittouchesallofusnow.Certainly,ifIcouldhelpit,Iwouldnevermarryawifewhowrote.Thepracticeoflettersismiserablyharassingtothemind;andafteranhourortwo’swork,allthemorehumanportionoftheauthorisextinct;hewillbully,backbite,andspeakdaggers.Music,Ihear,isnotmuchbetter.Butpainting,onthecontrary,isoftenhighlysedative;becausesomuchofthelabour,afteryourpictureisoncebegun,isalmostentirelymanual,andofthatskilledsortofmanuallabourwhichoffersacontinualseriesofsuccesses,andsoticklesaman,throughhisvanity,intogoodhumour.Alas!inlettersthereisnothingofthissort.Youmaywriteasbeautifulahandasyouwill,youhavealwayssomethingelsetothinkof,andcannotpausetonoticeyourloopsandflourishes;theyarebesidethemark,andthefirstlawstationercouldputyoutotheblush.Rousseau,indeed,madesomeaccountofpenmanship,evenmadeitasourceoflivelihood,whenhecopiedouttheHeloisefordilettanteladies;andthereinshowedthatstrangeeccentricprudencewhichguidedhimamongsomanythousandfolliesandinsanities.Itwouldbewellforallofthegenusirritabilethustoaddsomethingofskilledlabourtointangiblebrain-work.Tofindtherightwordissodoubtfulasuccessandliessoneartofailure,thatthereisnosatisfactioninayearofit;butweallknowwhenwehaveformedaletterperfectly;andastupidartist,rightorwrong,isalmostequallycertainhehasfoundarighttoneorarightcolour,ormadeadexterousstrokewithhisbrush.And,again,paintersmayworkoutofdoors;andthefreshair,thedeliberateseasons,andthe“tranquillisinginfluence”ofthegreenearth,counterbalancethefeverofthought,andkeepthemcool,placable,andprosaic.Ashipcaptainisagoodmantomarryifitisamarriageoflove,forabsencesareagoodinfluenceinloveandkeepitbrightanddelicate;butheisjusttheworstmanifthefeelingismorepedestrian,ashabitistoofrequentlytornopenandthesolderhasnevertimetoset.Menwhofish,botanise,workwiththeturning-lathe,orgathersea-weeds,willmakeadmirablehusbandsandalittleamateurpaintinginwater-colourshowstheinnocentandquietmind.Thosewhohaveafewintimatesaretobeavoided;whilethosewhoswimloose,whohavetheirhatintheirhandallalongthestreet,whocannumberaninfinityofacquaintancesandarenotchargeablewithanyonefriend,promiseaneasydispositionandnorivaltothewife’sinfluence.Iwillnotsaytheyarethebestofmen,buttheyarethestuffoutofwhichadroitandcapablewomenmanufacturethebestofhusbands.Itistobenoticedthatthosewhohavelovedonceortwicealreadyaresomuchthebettereducatedtoawoman’shand;thebrightboyoffictionisanoddandmostuncomfortablemixtureofshynessandcoarseness,andneedsadealofcivilising.Lastly(andthisis,perhaps,thegoldenrule),nowomanshouldmarryateetotaller,oramanwhodoesnotsmoke.Itisnotfornothingthatthis“ignobletabagie,”asMicheletcallsit,spreadsoveralltheworld.Micheletrailsagainstitbecauseitrendersyouhappyapartfromthoughtorwork;toprovidentwomenthiswillseemnoevilinfluenceinmarriedlife.Whateverkeepsamaninthefrontgarden,whatevercheckswanderingfancyandallinordinateambition,whatevermakesforloungingandcontentment,makesjustsosurelyfordomestichappiness.Thesenotes,iftheyamusethereaderatall,willprobablyamusehimmorewhenhediffersthanwhenheagreeswiththem;atleasttheywilldonoharm,fornobodywillfollowmyadvice.Butthelastwordisofmoreconcern.Marriageisastepsograveanddecisivethatitattractslight-headed,variablemenbyitsveryawfulness.Theyhavebeensotriedamongtheinconstantsquallsandcurrents,sooftensailedforislandsintheairorlainbecalmedwithburningheart,thattheywillriskallforsolidgroundbelowtheirfeet.Desperatepilots,theyruntheirsea-sick,wearybarkuponthedashingrocks.Itseemsasifmarriageweretheroyalroadthroughlife,andrealised,ontheinstant,whatwehavealldreamedonsummerSundayswhenthebellsring,oratnightwhenwecannotsleepforthedesireofliving.Theythinkitwillsoberandchangethem.Likethosewhojoinabrotherhood,theyfancyitneedsbutanacttobeoutofthecoilandclamourforever.Butthisisawileofthedevil’s.Totheend,springwindswillsowdisquietude,passingfacesleavearegretbehindthem,andthewholeworldkeepcallingandcallingintheirears.Formarriageislikelifeinthis—thatitisafieldofbattle,andnotabedofroses.II.Hope,theysay,desertsusatnoperiodofourexistence.Fromfirsttolast,andinthefaceofsmartingdisillusions,wecontinuetoexpectgoodfortune,betterhealth,andbetterconduct;andthatsoconfidently,thatwejudgeitneedlesstodeservethem.IthinkitimprobablethatIshalleverwritelikeShakespeare,conductanarmylikeHannibal,ordistinguishmyselflikeMarcusAureliusinthepathsofvirtue;andyetIhavemyby-days,hopeprompting,whenIamveryreadytobelievethatIshallcombineallthesevariousexcellencesinmyownperson,andgomarchingdowntoposteritywithdivinehonours.Thereisnothingsomonstrousbutwecanbelieveitofourselves.Aboutourselves,aboutouraspirationsanddelinquencies,wehavedweltbychoiceinadeliciousvaguenessfromourboyhoodup.NoonewillhaveforgottenTomSawyer’saspiration:“Ah,ifhecouldonlydietemporarily!”Or,perhaps,betterstill,theinwardresolutionofthetwopirates,that“solongastheyremainedinthatbusiness,theirpiraciesshouldnotagainbesulliedwiththecrimeofstealing.”Herewerecognisethethoughtsofourboyhood;andourboyhoodceased—well,when?—not,Ithink,attwenty;nor,perhaps,altogetherattwenty-five;noryetatthirty;andpossibly,tobequitefrank,wearestillinthethickofthatarcadianperiod.Forastheraceofman,aftercenturiesofcivilisation,stillkeepssometraitsoftheirbarbarianfathers,somantheindividualisnotaltogetherquitofyouth,whenheisalreadyoldandhonoured,andLordChancellorofEngland.Weadvanceinyearssomewhatinthemannerofaninvadingarmyinabarrenland;theagethatwehavereached,asthephrasegoes,webutholdwithanoutpost,andstillkeepopenourcommunicationswiththeextremerearandfirstbeginningsofthemarch.Thereisourtruebase;thatisnotonlythebeginning,buttheperennialspringofourfaculties;andgrandfatherWilliamcanretireuponoccasionintothegreenenchantedforestofhisboyhood.Theunfadingboyishnessofhopeanditsvigorousirrationalityarenowherebetterdisplayedthaninquestionsofconduct.ThereisacharacterinthePilgrim’sProgress,oneMr.Linger-after-lustwithwhomIfancyweareallonspeakingterms;onefamousamongthefamousforingenuityofhopeuptoandbeyondthemomentofdefeat;onewho,aftereightyyearsofcontraryexperience,willbelieveitpossibletocontinueinthebusinessofpiracyandyetavoidtheguiltoftheft.Everysinisourlast;every1stofJanuaryaremarkableturning-pointinourcareer.Anyovertact,aboveall,isfelttobealchemicinitspowertochange.Adrunkardtakesthepledge;itwillbestrangeifthatdoesnothelphim.ForhowmanyyearsdidMr.Pepyscontinuetomakeandbreakhislittlevows?AndyetIhavenotheardthathewasdiscouragedintheend.Bysuchstepswethinktofixamomentaryresolution;asatimidfellowhieshimtothedentist’swhilethetoothisstinging.
